Months ago, I received a phone call that reminded me of the sacredness of availability. I soon was sitting on a bus stop bench in downtown Columbus with my friend, Jeff. It’s been nearly ten years since I first met Jeff as a homeless man in the dead of winter living on the streets. Over the years we’ve enjoyed our almost weekly chats, cups of coffee, and my visits to the hospital when bouts of pneumonia would overtake his one working lung, pacemaker, and cancer-survivor body. A few years ago we helped get him into a room at the YMCA when he couldn’t bear another winter outside. We’ve continued to stay in touch.
On this day, tears streamed down his face, weaving in and out of each straggly whisker. He muttered “I didn’t know who else to call” as he began to share his feelings about the fact that three of his closest friends had all died in the past three weeks. He was the chosen one to clean out their rooms at the “Y” and call their loved ones. The questions overwhelmed him.
“Why is this happening to me?”
“Is God punishing me?”
“How come I’ve been revived in the hospital with my illnesses in the past and my friends just abruptly pass away?”
He spoke and I listened. He lived in an environment with hundreds of people all around him, but yet had no one he could share his feelings with about the loss of his friends. “They call me a cry baby” he said as he described the experience of trying to tell someone he thought would understand.
As he shared, I felt the sacredness of that moment. Not because of words or doctrine, but presence. I thought of the countless people who surround me every day, support me, and would be right there with me if anything half this traumatic were to happen to me. My gratitude wrestled with my sadness for his deep loneliness. His final words spoke poetically for this sacred moment between two friends, “Thank you for coming to be with me.” What a privilege it was to be able to “be” together.
I wonder…
- Who in your life right now is in need of your “availability”?
- Who in your life doesn’t fully understand your gratitude for their spot in your life?
- How can we be more available to those along the paths of our lives?
“The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted, uncared for and deserted by everybody.” – Mother Teresa
Jason Barger is an 11-time Amor Mission Trip leader who has connected over 1700 people to build 120 houses in Mexico. As the former Director of Camp Akita in Ohio, he designed and implemented programs for over 1900 kids a summer centered on faith, love, service and leadership. Jason’s experience with servant-leadership led him to the creation of First Community Church’s Streets Mission Project to serve the homeless of Columbus, Ohio as well as mission trips to the Casa Hogar Sion Orphanage in Tijuana and the Village Mountain Mission project in the Dominican Republic. Jason is the author of the book Step Back from the Baggage Claim: Change the World, Start at the Airport and spends most of his time today serving, writing, speaking and consulting for organizations looking to bring about positive change. Jason, his wonderful wife, Amy, and their two sons, Will and Benton, currently live in Columbus, Ohio. To connect with Jason, please visit www.stepbackfromthebaggageclaim.com